Dolphins Gift Wrap Jason Taylor for “Them”

By Ronn Burner • on April 21, 2010

It’s a business, I get that. Bill Parcells obviously has a plan in mind that does not include the greatest defensive player in the history of the franchise. Fine. It happens and Tuna gets paid an exorbitant amount of money to make these decisions and he has a pretty darn good track record of being correct in these personnel matters. Fine. I happen to think JT still has football left in him and would be a tremendous asset to our young defense but I’m not there and they obviously know a hell of a lot more than I do. Fine. Whether I like it or not I can accept that but I refuse to believe there is any way we are going to fill our DE unit with 4 or 5 guys better than JT. No way. Regardless, the Dolphins moving on without Taylor was collective decision that the organization obviously felt was for the betterment of the team now and into the future. Fine.

The fact that our very own 2007 Defensive Player of the Year will not be wearing the orange and aqua that he’ll be enshrined in Canton with this season but rather the very shade of green that he and all Dolfans alike can’t even stomach. My issue is not the move, it’s the way it was handled.

The number 99 is a lock to not only be forever etched onto our Ring of Honor but he’s also a Hall of Famer and with that he’s earned at the very least the common courtesy to be publicly let go respectfully and with dignity. For whatever reason that was not the case. As the story goes Dolphins brass wouldn’t even return his phone calls. That is classless and quite frankly an embarrassment to the organization. Taylor himself would have understood the teams decision to simply go in a direction that did not include his services had they returned his phone calls and said so. He has absolutely earned that much. Hell, he shouldn’t even had to have make those phone calls in the first place. Jeff Ireland, Tony Sporano or Parcells himself should have had the decency to contact Taylor once they knew the direction they intended to move in giving him ample time to discuss with his family the possibility of being uprooted to any city that boasts an NFL franchise.

I’m disappointed in the lack of respect public displayed by the organization for an all-time Dolphins great.

How much do you want to bet that Chad Henne and Jake Long wish he was still a teammate on September 26th and December 12th when they face “Gang Green” and number 99 destroys our offense? Talk about motivation, especially with Rex Ryan at the helm. I loathe “them” but I think Rex brings great things to any team including moxie, swagger, attitude, aggressiveness, fire and confidence. It’s easy to hate him but that’s only because he’s not on our team. Taylor will love playing for that guy and there is no doubt in my mind Ryan will put him in position to be extremely successful all season let alone the two game against Miami.

Thank you JT for the memories. I assure you the fans respect you and will always hold you in the highest regards. Here’s to you having the best season of your career on an 0-16 team.

Dolphins Draft Dilemma

By Ronn Burner • on April 16, 2010

Following their 2009 campaign the Dolphins off season needs seemed as insatiable as Ben Roethlisexoffender’s sex drive. Too soon? Send emails to getalife@nobodyreadsthis.com. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Just saying.

Miami needed to fill five major holes in an otherwise solid team to put themselves in a realistic position to contend for a Championship. In no particular order we needed a big-bodied, play making true #1 receiver, a bulldozing nose tackle to anchor our 3-4, a ball hawking free safety, a tackling machine at outside line backer and an elite pass rushing defensive end.

Dolphins brass i.e. Bill Parcells, Jeff Ireland and Tony Sporano were able to acquire two Pro Bowl players by signing Karlos Dansby via Free Agency to fill the outside linebacking void created with the departure of the mouth of the south, Joey Porter and obviously the blockbuster deal that brought us Brandon Marshall instantaneously transforming an anemic receiving corps into a lethal one. That about seals those two holes tighter than a frog’s rear end.

Two paramount deals to fix two monumental weaknesses on your roster is certainly something to be ecstatic about but in the immortal words of our very own Big Tuna “We’ve got a ways to go so put away the anointing oil, okay?” He said that a few years ago referring to a young Tony Romo finding early success in Dallas but don’t think for one second that Parcells isn’t thinking the very same thing as I write this. The fact remains that we still need to figure out how to find a starting NT, S and DE between the combination of our current roster, not a great option, and Thursday’s draft.

We currently sit at #12, which virtually ensures cementing the third of our five holes depending on the direction the crafty Parcells will manuever but our next pick isn’t until #73 (3rd Rd.) and not even David Copperfield could plug our three holes with only two picks in the top 100. In a perfect world (I know) the Dolphins trade out of the 12th pick and into the back of the 1st round while adding a 2nd round pick to replace the one (#43) they lost to Denver in the Marshall deal. With everyone looking to trade down it’s unlikely Miami will find a dance partner but you can bet your bottom dollar that Parcells is trying to do just that and the Philadelphia Eagles might just be our Huckleberry.

If that deal were to happen then Miami would move from #12 to #24 and compromise to #55 in the 2nd round given us three picks in the top 73 of a very deep draft. That’s enough to make sure you at least know where the anointing oil is stored. That’s a “what if” scenario though and not worth anything more than a fantasy tale you tell your buddies over beers.

Back to the real world, which isn’t all bad when you consider the immense talent that will be sitting there for the taking at #12. There’s no doubt in my mind that NT Dan Williams (Tennessee), DE Derrick Morgan (Georgia Tech) or S Earl Thomas (Texas) will be a Miami Dolphins starter the second they stand up and make the walk to shake Roger Goodell’s hand. The question is which one will it be? (I’ve linked them all to their scouting reports.)

My brain tells me Williams is our guy, with Jason Ferguson suspended for 8 games and the uber importance of a play thrashing 3-4 nose tackle it would seem foolish to pass on Williams. Playing devil’s advocate here and I could say that there are a number of worthy prospects that you should be able to get in the 2nd, 3rd or even 4th rounds to at least split time with Paul Solai until Ferguson returns.

My gut tells me Parcells wants to mold Morgan into shades of the great L.T. Devils advocate says there is only one L.T. and both nose tackle and safety are bigger needs and there will be a quality pass rushing end still available at #55, maybe even a stud like Ricky Sapp (Clemson).

My heart wants Thomas, a ball hawking safety with tremendous cover skills and all around tools for one, and for two, did you see Gibril Wilson and every team we played last season repeatedly gouge us with big plays? The devil’s advocate would say that a nose tackle and a pass rusher are bigger needs… or would he? The heart wants what the heart wants.

Imagine the coundrum, albeit a great one, if Jason Paul-Pierre (South Florida) or Dez Bryant (Oklahoma State) are still available there.

Ted Ginn Shipped to San Francisco

By Ronn Burner • on April 16, 2010

In news that should surprise no one including Ted Ginn himself, Miami has shipped their official 2007 draft bust as far away as they could get him. The San Francisco 49ers just gave Miami a 5th round pick in this years draft for the former 9th overall pick. Dolfans should be elated they duped the 49ers into giving up so much. Really a Klondike Bar would have sufficed, especially when you consider former Buckeye teammate Santonio Holmes cost the Jets exactly the same price for easily twice the player.

I’ve been on record on several occasions over the years expressing my displeasure of Ginn’s efforts (not abilities) in Miami beginning with this gem so there’s really no need to pile on here. I wish him the best of luck on his new beginning in San Francisco, however, I would suggest that Niner fan be cautiously optimistic. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck… it’s probably a duck.

Although his legacy in Miami will forever be a punch line of Ryan Leaf proportions Teddy did tease us with a few glimpses of what Dolphin Nation all believed would be the norm rather than the exception.

My farewell bid to Ginn and final jab at his expense, which pains me greatly by the way, is to simply press play here, turn it up to 11 and watch these clips on mute as sort of a career highlight montage send off beginning with this masterpiece in 2008, this record setting day against our arch nemesis in green up north and another beautiful sight against that same team on a different day tasting so much sweeter as it embarrassed their best player.

Best of luck Ted Ginn.

UPDATE: Shame on me. Just when I finally said something nice about Ginn he goes out and does something like this and completely validates the reason Phin-attics loathe the padded cheerleader in the first place. Good riddance.

Dolphins Land Brandon Marshall in Blockbuster Deal

By Ronn Burner • on April 15, 2010

Before I went to bed last night I was pulling my hair out contemplating between WR Arrelious Benn (Illinois), DE Eversen Griffen (USC) and DE/LB Ricky Sapp (Clemson) with Miami’s 2nd Rd. selection (#43 overall) in the iSportsweb.com Mock Draft. I went to bed completely satisfied with my selection including scientific rationale and a laundry list of justifiable reasoning that would support the relevance and genius of my selection to be used as a verbal “Ha Ha! I told you so” defense against the inevitable backlash from Dolfans with differing opinions. Damn it, why can’t the hot tub time machine be real? Imagine if it were though, we wouldn’t be in love with Chad Henne because Drew Brees would be our quarterback, the Saints still wouldn’t have marched on Bourbon Street and we would have nothing but love for Ted Ginn Jr. because he would be someone else’s problem.

I awoke to a barrage of ambiguous text messages like “Wow! MARSHALL!” “Marshall! Can you believe it?” “How do you feel about the train wreck?” I was clueless but my first reaction was “Oh my God, Marshall University just suffered another tragedy reminiscent of the tragic 1970 plane crash!” Simultaneously I turned on ESPN and there in red was the “Breaking News” bold type crawling across the bottom line reading that the Denver Broncos traded Brandon Marshall to the Miami Dolphins for their 2nd round pick in next weeks draft and what is believed to be their 2nd round pick in next years draft. Marshall (the player) agreed to a four-year, $47.5 million contract extension, which includes $24 million in guaranteed money. Assuming he passes his physical the deal makes him the highest-paid receiver in NFL history… allegedly.

A nano-second after reading the news I was overwhelmed with a bevy of emotions that hit me so fast and so hard I can’t be sure in which order they came but if memory serves me I believe it went something like “YES! We are legitimate contenders!”… “Thank God the Marshall Football team is okay!”… “Oh CRAP! I just drafted Arrelious Benn and this completely destroys my mock draft!” Good thing I passed on WR Dez Bryant (OSU) at #12 or we would have just had to completely disregard the importance and validity of this mock altogether as if it doesn’t even matter.

Now that the smoke has settled as much as it’s going to in my brainpan and I sit back and really let it resonate that we just acquired Brandon Marshall I realize the reason I’m so taken aback. We are back! No more excuses, no more rebuilding, no more “one year away” conversations, no more “too old” or “too young” remarks, no more “only if we had a quarterback”, no more “what if’s”. This deal shows the Dolphins are committed to winning now and in the future. It shows that Bill Parcells will take risks, that improving the offense is priority and it also shows that the organization truly believes that they are thisclose to being a legitimate Championship contender.

Make no mistake about it, Marshall was expensive. By no means did Miami steal him from Denver. The Broncos were compensated very well with two 2nd round picks not to mention the financial and psychological burden that left the moment he boarded the plane. The Broncos got exactly what they wanted, if not more, and it’s a huge step in moving the direction they want to go. Conversely, it was well worth the price to the Dolphins by instantly adding one of the biggest offensive threats at his position in the entire league and plugging the most glaring hole on the team in one move. Miami literally went from an uninspiring stagnant offense to lethal from anywhere on the field over night. The addition of Marshall has a ripple effect that will pay positive consequences for every other player and unit offensively, which eases the pressure on the defensive side of the ball as well as directly affecting coaching decisions, play calls and even special teams as it pertains the field position game.

He will demand double teams the majority of the time opening running lanes, making reads for Chad Henne much less challenging, stressing the defense and putting backs and Davone Bess and Brian Hartline in favorable underneath matchups. The sky is the limit offensively from this day forward in Miami provided Marshall shows up on the field to play football and not on South Beach to play “the field.”

Dolphins Making Little Splash in Free Agency

By Ronn Burner • on March 9, 2010

Heading into Free Agency it appeared the Dolphins would be rather aggressive in plugging the most glaring chinks in their armor. So glaring, in fact, one would have to be super human to look at our WR, ILB, NT and S positions without a welding mask. All signs pointed to the Dolphins making major moves beginning with need and ending with Uncapped Year. Squished in the middle being Free Agents that fit the bill. (Anquan Boldin) Check. Ownership that is willing to spend. ($53.5 million the past 2 years) Check. Large contracts to dump. (Gibril Wilson and Joey Porter) Check. Players to re-sign. (Chad Pennington) Check.

So what happened? Teams proved they were not going to blow the bank account when there would be viable options at a much friendlier price in the Draft for one. Aside from the Dolphins following, or maybe leading, that trend I think the domino effect came into play here with Key Free Agent NT’s being locked down with Franchise Tags resulting in far to steep a price to pay to pry them from their squad. New England’s Vince Wilfork (since has been signed), Pittsburgh’s Casey Hampton, San Francisco’s Aubrayo Franklin and Green Bay’s Ryan Pickett would have all been highly regarded by the Dolphins and any other team running the 3-4 had they hit the open market. However, their respective teams realized the importance of these kind of run stuffers in today’s NFL and how rare they are so unless someone is willing to part with 2 first round picks then they aren’t budging. Since Jason Ferguson’s 8-game suspension for performance enhancing drugs the Dolphins already glaring need at the position just got brighter than Dez Bryant’s future. See what I did there?

Although I tend to be leary of plugging only one of four gaping holes via Free Agency I still have to force myself to sit back and relax and “Trust in Tuna”, which is becoming increasingly more difficult following the Joey Porter releasing gaffe and not even entertaining the notion of bringing in Boldin for a 3rd and 4th round pick. We have to assume that Miami’s Free Agent activity, or lack thereof is by design. A calculated maneuver based on two things. 1.) An awful track record consisting of Ernest Wilford ($6 million), Reggie Torbor ($4 million), Justin Smiley ($9 million), Charlie Anderson ($2.5 million), Randy Starks ($7 million), Josh McCown ($2.5 million), Jake Grove ($14.5 million) and Gibril Wilson ($8 million) over the past 2 years with only Stark proving worthy and colossal busts in Wilford and Wilson. And 2.) By signing Karlos Dansby to a five-year deal worth $43 million with $22 million guaranteed, making him the highest-paid inside linebacker in the NFL, which leads you to believe they obviously had him targeted from the get go and have a plan intact to acquire through the draft the run stuffing NT, play making WR and ball hawking Safety doesn’t it? That sounds like an awfully ambitious wish list for one draft and by “awfully ambitious” I mean “No way in hell”.

Bill Parcells and Jeff Ireland tried to plug one of the three remaining holes by signing S Ryan Clark away from Pittsburgh but midway through his visit to Miami he called his Mommy agent and said he wanted to go home so before he landed back in Pittsburgh he had already been offered a 4 year worth $17 million, which was less than the Dolphins were willing to give him. I guess I should commend him for not talking the money and running to Miami instead opting to keep his wife and three kids in their home and lives in Pitttsburgh and I would had he spurned the Patriots but he didn’t, he spurned us. Another domino that fell leaving the Dolphins scrambling for scraps. Heading into the draft needing a WR and NT to step in immediately and start sounds a whole lot more likely than adding a starting Safety to that list as well.

I didn’t think there was a Pizza Roll’s chance on Kevin Smith’s plate that the Dolphins would select Dez Bryant at #12 overall in the Draft but after signing Dansby there is not near the urgency to acquire linebackers Rolando McClain (Alabama) or Sergio Kindle (Texas) since Dansby is essentially that same player with experience and with NT’s Dan Williams (Tennesse) and Terrence Cody (Alabama) probably not worth the #12 pick it’s looking more and more like that Dolphins and Bill Parcells will, in fact, fill their biggest need offensively and select Dez Bryant if he’s still sitting their at #12. There in lies the problem though because I will be beyond shocked if he is still available when Miami selects. I will be so shocked that I refuse to even include him as an option when I write my Draft outlook later in the week. I’m even going tell you that I think there is a very good chance that he goes #3 overall to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I could really care less where he goes but that Pizza Roll has a better chance of still being on Kevin Smith’s plate come April 22nd than Dez Bryant does of being on the Dolphins plate at #12.

I’ll get more into it with my Draft article later in the week but the signing of Dansby, albeit a good signing, muddles the picture further for me actually. Sitting at #12 we could have had our choice of any number of quality linebackers that were worthy of the 12th pick but now there isn’t that dire need for that type of player, at least at that position. Our positions of need doesn’t match up with our selection in the Draft barring a trade, which is a strong possibility. With Bryant gone there isn’t another receiver that deserves to go #12. After Safety Eric Berry (Tennessee) there isn’t a Safety worth that pick either. So by the process of elimination isn’t it rather obvious that Dan Williams has to be our pick even though he may be a reach that high? We can always get that Safety and Wide Receiver later right? Yup, I’m terrified that we are going to have the exact same nightmare next season of not having a play making wide receiver or an NFL calibre Safety. These were two off season “priorities” after last season’s pathetic play at these positions and to not address them before next year would be an unfathomable failure by Dolphins brass. No way they are that stupid, right?

Joey Porter BACK with the Dolphins!

By Ronn Burner • on February 12, 2010

Holy crap! Paul McCartney had less difficulty breaking away clean from Heather Mills than the Dolphins are having splitting from Joey Porter. About an hour or so ago I posted that as a shock to no one the Dolphins finally expedited the inevitable and cut Porter thus making him a free agent sparing the Fins the $4.6 million he was set to receive on March 7th.

Adam Schefter of ESPN has reported that due to League rules the Dolphins releasing of Porter prior to March 5th actually would count against their 2009 salary cap thus forcing him back onto the Dolphins roster until then. Apparently Miami only has $4.2 million in cap space and the move would have triggered a $4.8 million hit.

My initial thought was “Wow! How on earth are we that stupid?” Not one person in the entire organization was aware of this? In all the years that Bill Parcells and Jeff Ireland have been in this league this has never been something that has previously come up? Just when things seem to be looking so good for Miami and after so many fortuitous things have fallen our way, umm hello Mike Nolan, then we go ahead and do something like this that makes us look completely incompetent. We are stupid or at best we “look” stupid.

That was my original thought until NFL whispers began stirring that Miami may have done this intentionally. On purpose? Huh? Well, it would certainly make more sense since you absolutely know that Bill Parcells either knew the rule himself or has people that do to not let this happen publicly. The genius behind it lies in the fact that by making an announcement that we are realeasing Porter knowing full well that the League would step in and prevent it from happening until March 5th. Doesn’t matter, the rest of the NFL is now aware that Porter is a certainty to be cut on that date thus giving any interested team three full weeks to pick up the phone and start proposing trades to the Dolphins to obtain him and his current contract rather than risking not getting him signed in a Free Agency bidding war or his desire to play elsewhere. In essence, we have nothing to lose. We’re cutting him anyway so may as well dangle him like a carrot and see if we can get any bites and get something, anything, in return while publicly embarrassing as slight as it may be in the process.

Turns out we’re brilliant!

The Dolphins just released this statement after I wrote the above content. “The release of Joey Porter was determined to be an invalid termination, therefore at this time, Porter reverts back to the Miami Dolphins roster.”

Joey Porter Released.

By Ronn Burner • on February 12, 2010

The Miami Dolphins released Joey Porter today. If this move comes as a surprise to you then I don’t have the heart to tell you **SPOILER ALERT** Conan O’Brien is no longer hosting The Tonight Show.

Porter was going to be owed $4.6 million had he reamined on the Dolphins roster beyond March 7th but it was all but a foregone conclusion that he was going to be cut even before his ridiculously immature bashing of the Dolphins that still employed him. The best part is Porter will never get the money elswhere he would have received here but his monumental ego and even bigger mouth not only sealed his fate in Miami but most likely even lowered the paltry amount he was hoping to make.

As I said in another article, I will always remember and appreciate the Joey Porter that terrorized quarterbacks in 2008 for us but other than Ted Ginn packing his bags I couldn’t be happier about a guy leaving town. When you alienate those that once adored you, the love fest quickly turns to pure detest.

Gibril Wilson has been understandably silent and I can respect that but I also wouldn’t advise going grocery shopping just yet either. I suspect he’s next. And then there will be one.