Dolphins Slaughtered in ‘The Cove

http://isportsweb.com/2010/10/06/dolphins-slaughtered-in-the-cove/

By Ronn Burner • on October 6, 2010

The Miami Dolphins (2-2, 1-2) were slaughtered by Tom Brady and the New England Patriots (3-1, 2-1), 41-14, in front of the home crowd on National Television for Monday Night Football. I’m trying not to be a homer but I couldn’t think of a word worse than slaughtered, if I could have, I would have used that one.

After starting 2-0 on the road for the first time since 1977 things looked promising for the 2010 Dolphins. Then something happened. They came home. They slept in their own beds, they drank their own kool-aid and they embarrrassed themselves, the organization and Dolfans abroad.

That “Feed the Wolf” mantra they’ve been using to psyche themselves up seemed like a good idea at the time. Now they should face criminal charges for cruelty to animals for malnutrition. What? There’s no wolf food in Miami? Teen Wolf had more game.

Save the Dolphins? Screw the Dolphins. I feel worse now for the tuna getting caught in dolphin nets.

The good news… umm, our colors are still sweet. They can never take Dan Marino away from us. Or that 1972 Perfect Season although I wouldn’t be bummed out if they could somehow take Mercury Morris away. More good news if this counts? It doesn’t, unless you’re stupid and chances are pretty darn good you are considering you’re here reading crap about even worse crap.

…And now we go to Lambeau. Thank god!

Excellent news when you consider the dolphins playing in ‘The Cove’ are less likely to get slaughtered than the ones playing in Sun Life Stadium.

Harsh? Yes. Deserving? Yes. Season over? No. Not by a long shot but going 8-4 the rest of the way is the only realistic way they make the playoffs and the schedule is brutal the next 5 games at Green Bay, Pittsburgh, at Cincinnati, at Baltimore and Tennessee. 3-2 would be pretty good over that span but that puts us at 5-4 and hardly a playoff threat. Having already lost to New York and New England we would have to also figure out how to go into their place and come away with wins. All that will play itself out. Either we’re good or we’re not and it won’t take much longer to figure that out. Is it really gonna matter? I’ll be here either way like an inmate serving his sentence. It’d just be nice to split a few beers on the roof someday instead of getting my plumbing rearranged by this damn team.

Miami’s Monday Night debacle was historic. The Dolphins literally had the worse night in the history of professional football on special teams. Never before had a team given up a kickoff return touchdown, blocked field goal touchdown and blocked punt in a game let alone one half of football. The Dolphins also were on the wrong end of allowing the Patriots to score touchdowns five different ways including an interception return for a touchdown, a touchdown run and a touchdown pass. That’s disgusting.

Nauseating way to get throttled but the bottom line is special teams is exactly 1/3 of the game. No less, no more. Offense and defense obviously making out the rest of the game. Granted, Chad Henne threw 3 interceptions. One was an awful decision, one was a risky decision but the no-name Rob Ninkovich made a great play on the ball and the 3rd one looked worse than the other two but Brandon Marshall stopped his route and left Henne out to dry as we all watched, no doubt laughing hysterically at this point, as Patrick Chung (another household name) raced in for six. Clearly special teams wasn’t the only phase of the game Miami looked like a dumpster fire.

Brady was 19-24 for 153 yards and a touchdown. BenJarvus Green-Ellis (yet another global icon) and Danny Woodhead (at least he starred on HBO!) seemed to have little trouble picking up 4 to 5 yards a crack. Wes Welker was just playing catch out there with Brady bringing in 8 of the 19 completed passes.

Henne had his 5th 300 yard game putting him in 2nd behind the right arm of God, Dan Marino’s 63.

On the surface there isn’t much to take away from a game like this. Just take the game tape and burn it. Piss on it, then burn it. Nobody wants to sit in a film room rehashing a complete cluster@#&* that this game was. Just do the obvious and pin this entire collapse on one person and then pretend all is well moving forward. Dolphins Nation wanted a head and they got one, and it was justifiable but it’s not the end all, cure all solution. Miami has ALWAYS sucked at special teams. It’s mind boggling.

Special Teams Coach John Bonamego (Ummm… who?) was fired officially before I hit snooze Tuesday morning and he was replaced by his Assistant ST’s Coach Darren Rizzi. What the front door is that all about? That’s like a Model Agency firing Mary-Kate Olsen and hiring Ashley Olsen. No goddamn wonder strides aren’t made.

Look, Bonamego had to go but it’s not his fault Roberto Wallace got dump trucked by Sammy Morris allowing Brandon Tate to turn on the jets and outrun poor angles by Bobby Carpenter, Jason Allen (shocker!) and Nolan Carroll for 103-yard kick return touchdown to start the 2nd half.

Bonamego didn’t get confused like Lex Hilliard and Carpenter (again!) did allowing Patrick Chung to split them and Patrick Cobbs took off too early leaving Brandon Fields exposed and getting his punt blocked. Bonamego didn’t get steam rolled by Chung and Kyle Arrington like Joe Berger and Lyndon Murtha did allowing the blocked field goal to get scooped up for another circus touchdown. Even circus clowns were laughing at us.

Coaches coach, players play. Absolutely the right move to fire him for this game and everything that led up to it but I assure you the accountability is on the players that blew their assignments. Special teams is want to, we didn’t want to and they did. Hence, 41-14 with Randy Moss catching 0 passes for 0 yards with 0 touchdowns.

Disgusting.

…and the spin.

Take away six plays… kick return for touchdown, blocked FG for touchdown and blocked punt that gave New England the ball inside the 10 and three Henne interceptions and we have a different ball game. That’s all! Remember, the first half very much felt like Miami was in charge of this game. They looked like the better team. Am I wrong?

The bad news is you cannot take away those plays but what it does mean is you can prevent them from happening again. It’s easier to “coach” (Lord help us) those corrections than it is to look at our team and try to make them stronger, faster and more physical. In other words, Miami is not near as bad as the score would indicate because they are physical and talented on both sides of the ball. Mental errors are the difference in their games right now. Absolutely credit the Patriots for ass raping the Dolphins in their own kitchen but just know that the Miami mistakes can be corrected. I’m not reaching for optimism either. It’s true.

Cameron Wake, Vontae Davis and Kendall Langford played inspired and excellent football regardless of the score. Wake was a flat out beast frankly with 5 tackles, 2 for a loss and a sack. He played well against the run and got after Brady like a possessed demon. Davis followed Moss a lot and though it’s not all due to him it certainly was a factor that Moss had no catches.

Henne made a few mistakes but he was 29-39 for 302 yards and 2 touchdowns. I refuse to pile on him at this point. He took 67 snaps and aced 65 of them. Relax Dolfans, he is getting better each and every snap. This was only his 17th career start and we tend to forget that. He started 9-7. Not bad. Not Marino but certainly not the laundry list of scabs we’ve had since either. And need I remind you… we will NEVER have another Dan Marino. To us, even Peyton Manning is considered a poor man’s Dan Marino.

Being a movie freak I went to see “The Social Network” (I highly recommend.) and during it I saw the trailer for “The Tourist”. There’s a scene where Johnny Depp attempts to report an attempted murder and the Officer in France is disgusted. It reminds me of the Henne situation. Here’s the exchange.

Detective: You wish to report a murder?

Depp’s character: Attempted murder.

Detective: That’s not so serious.

Depp: Not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service it’s quite serious.

It’s all a matter of perspective. Henne is a peon when compared to Marino but doesn’t he make everyone since #13 look like a peon next to him?

Davone Bess looked like he was every bit as good as Welker and I’m not exaggerating. let’s put it this way, the only receiver in the league that you can even make the case for being better than Bess in short yardage situations moving the chains is Welker. Bess caught 9 balls for 93 yards and an acrobatic 19-yard touchdown.

This game has to be forgotten about. Learn from it, clean it up and move forward forgetting about it like an old girlfriend. And what’s the easiest way to get over an ex-girlfriend? Stick it to the better looking Green Bay Packers at their place.

Patriots-Dolphins Preview

By Ronn Burner • on September 30, 2010

The (2-1) Miami Dolphins host the Tom Brady led (2-1) New England Patriots for as big of a game as you’ll ever see for a Week 4 match-up on Monday Night Football. Miami is coming off a tough loss in their home opener last Sunday night to another division foe, the New York Jets, and desperately in need of a win here to avoid dropping to 1-2 in the division with both losses coming at home to the Jets and Patriots.

Conversely, the Patriots will be looking to avoid the same fate, like Miami, having already lost to the Jets and their only divisional win coming against the less than stellar Buffalo Bills. To make matters worse for Miami and New England, barring the entire Jets roster coming down with the Swine Flu, they will move to 3-1 after beating up the Bills this week too. Hence, the significance of this game.

The winner will vault themselves into prime position in the increasingly challenging AFC East with a 3-1 record and 2-1 inside the division while the loser will wake up Tuesday morning scrambling and trying to fix the problems that have them sitting at 2-2 and 1-2 in the division having lost to both the Jets and the other first place team.

WHEN MIAMI HAS THE BALL: Averaging 319 yards per game of total offense sounds decent but when you consider that only ranks 18th, which is only one spot ahead of the San Francisco 49ers who just fired their Offensive Coordinator and it paints a frightening picture. Luckily 112 yards of that comes on the ground where where they are averaging 29 attempts at a 3.8 yards per carry average. New England has also allowed 82 points so far this season so on paper the Dolphins match up well offensively.

Expect to see the “Wildcat”, better known as the “Buzz Kill” these days with it’s juggernaut-esque numbers of 1.8 yards per play. Yup, 16 Wildcat plays run for a grand total of 20.8 yards. I guess it serves a purpose, sort of like your wisdom teeth or appendix or tonsils serve a purpose right? I will not be back on the “Buzz Kill” bandwagon until Tyler Thigpen runs it… then and only then will I think it’s totally awesome! Imagine a stud athlete that happens to be a pretty darn good quarterback run that. I don’t get why Dan “Hot Seat” Henning and Tony “Don’t Call Me Tuna” Sparano don’t see that.

Chad Henne showed Dolfans a glimpse of what they hope to be the beginning of a wonderful career as the franchise quarterback. His QB Rating sits at 88.1 and I have no idea what that means but I do know it’s better than the 75.1 he had last season and just the eye ball test alone tells me that guy can flat sling it and if he continues to improve in his pocket awareness and not getting locked in on his targets then he very well may be all that and a bag of chips.

Let’s be honest, Bill Belichek will take away what he feels Miami does best and it will be up to Henning to recognize that and exploit the Patriots defense elsewhere. We do know what that is yet but it won’t take long to figure out. If they load the box, Henne has to exploit the match-ups that will be in our favor through the air. If they don’t think we can run on them and they try to shut down the passing attack, the offensive line has to bulldoze holes for Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams. It’s as simple as that really, take what Belichek is willing to give us because the Patriots defense isn’t good enough to take away both.

WHEN NEW ENGLAND HAS THE BALL: It doesn’t take Mark Zuckerberg (See “The Social Network”. Amazing film!) to recognize that Tom Brady is the key to stopping New England. You don’t pressure Brady, you don’t win the game. No more questions. After the game, if Cameron Wake and Koa Misi can’t tell you what kind of toothpaste Brady uses then my game recap will be about as positive as any Dolfans reaction to the words “Ted Ginn”.

Vontae Davis has emerged as a one of the best in the game and he will have to live up to that standard whether he follows the “Slouch” around or just stays to his side. I actually suspect he’ll follow Moss in order to not let Brady and Moss treat Jason Allen like a baby treats a diaper. The only guarantee I can make is that they will be coming after Allen. Death, taxes and Dolphins opposition coming after Jason Allen.

Jared Odrick, Channing Crowder and Ike Alama-Francis are all out affecting the Dolphins depth so it’s imperative the Dolphins get solid play at the NT from Paul Soliai since Randy Starks is forced to move outside. The Patriots actually have only 17 fewer rushing attempts than passing and are averaging 123 yards per game. Fred Taylor and Kevin Faulk are out leaving the bulk of the carried to BenJarvis Green-Ellis. Not sure if that’s good or bad quite frankly. I think this kid is pretty good.

KEY MATCH-UP: Dolphins Entire Defense Vs. TE’s Aaron Hernandez and Bruce Grandkowski Call me a coward for not being more specific but match-ups will change throughout the game and it will honestly take a collective effort to keep these two guys in check in not only the passing game but they cannot seal the ends, I’m talking to you Cameron, like the Jets did. For whatever unknown reason, opposing tight ends have been feasting on the Dolphins secondary for 2 years now and the Patriots happen to have two very good ones. Dustin Keller shredded Miami last week in the first half but Mike Nolan made some adjustments and essentially shut him down the rest of the way. I don’t care if BJGE runs through us like a high school paper tunnel or Moss catches 10 for 150 as long as the tight end doesn’t beat us. That’s all I ask.

FEARLESS PREDICTION:

I think the Dolphins offense is just more than the Patriots defense can handle really. If the Dolphins can get the Patriots off the field on 3rd downs then I expect them to win. Gigantic “if” though.

Dolphins 30-24

Dolphins Recap

By Ronn Burner • on September 26, 2010

Dolphins lost 31-23.

Dolphins-Jets Preview

By Ronn Burner • on September 23, 2010

The 2-0 Miami Dolphins have wisely done their talking on the field and plan to do just that when they graciously host Rex Ryan and his colorful, to say the least, 1-1 New York Jets Sunday night on National television. Snooki and Angelina get along better than these two and for good reason.

The history is rich let alone all that has transpired over the past year including Ryan flipping his big fat Pterodactyl middle finger off at Dolfans during an MMA event, the acquisition of the best defensive player in Miami team history, Jason Taylor, the 2 day signing of our WR castoff Patrick Turner strictly for download purposes and of course the glitz and glamor that comes with being glorified on HBO’s “Hard Knocks”. I assure you, Miami is using all of that as fuel to the fire. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if every single Dolphins player has burned every green item of clothing they own just to cleanse themselves of the filthy thought of “that green team up north”.

Conversely, I’m sure New York has not forgotten the that the Dolphins swept the Jets last season in large part due to the play of Ted Ginn. You heard me, that Ted Ginn. Imagine that. The same Ted Ginn that makes “Rudy” look like Lawrence Taylor. Motivation isn’t an issue. Both teams will undoubtedly bring their A-game. Hatred alone assures that.

I do have a confession to make though. I like Rex Ryan. There I’ve said it. I don’t care that he’s on the most hated nemesis imaginable. Don’t get me wrong, I hate him in New York and hope he loses every game he ever coaches there and gets publicly embarrassed and falls victim to a classless firing. But I’ll like him when he’s gone. He’s that guy you loathe unless he’s on your team. Since he’s not, I hope he burn in hell. For all those Dolfans that want to kill me for liking Ryan just need to have a coke and a smile and remember that Chad Pennington once just as much of an enemy as Ryan.

WHEN MIAMI HAS THE BALL: Not much good news here, folks, when you look at the numbers. The Dolphins and their vaunted 27th ranked offense face a Jets defense that has allowed only 1 touchdown and 1.8 yards per carry on the ground in 55 rushes against them. That’s impressive in the NFL against the bottom feeders let alone the Ravens and Patriots.

Miami must play Dolphins football, which is a mistake free, ball control approach to win the field position battle and obviously not to turn the ball over. Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams will be stubbornly run regardless of their effectiveness and I think that’s a good thing despite the backlash from fans bashing the play-calling of OC Dan Henning. This defense is not the defense you want to open it up and start slinging it all over the place even without Derrelle Revis playing. Miami fully anticipates to win this game in a low scoring field position battle and are not going to jeopardize things by taking huge risks against one of the best defensive units in the league.

I do think, however, Chad Henne, will be asked to go deep on a few occasions to Brandon Marshall and I fully anticipate a trick play out of the Wildcat to be called. Henne will need to maintain his decent 85.1 rating and should have plenty of opportunity on the quick stuff underneath to Davone Bess, Brian Hartline and Anthony Fasano in an attempt to avoid the big drops that may result in sacks and turnovers.

Henne should beware though because our old friend Jason Taylor will likely play a great game coming home with a huge point to prove to the Dolphins organization and Bill Parcells specifically. It will be key to not let JT get an edge and make a game changing play like he’s done so many times wearing the orange and aqua.

WHEN NEW YORK HAS THE BALL: Far better news here, folks, when you consider that the Jets are the 29th ranked offense and the Dolphins defense has only allowed 20 points this season. Mark Sanchez boast an impressive 96.3 rating and DC Mike Nolan will look to stop the run early forcing Sanchez to make plays for his team to win. The way the Dolphins secondary has played thus far lead by the resurrection of Jason Allen and the star making of Vontae Davis I like this match up.

Koa Misi and Cameron Wake will have their chances to make plays with the Jets offensive line in disarray with the absence of Alan Faneca. The pressure is on D’Brickashaw Ferguson and Damien Woody to prevent the big plays on the outside. Woody struggles against speed rushers, Wake must be licking his chops. Nolan will exploit that weakness until they prove they can block it. I suspect a massive mix of creative stunts and blitzes both inside and out from Nolan and most likely things that Dolphins have yet to run this season that they saved just for this game, which is often the case when these teams play. It goes both ways, for that matter, on both sides of the ball as well. Generally makes for a heck of a football game.

Karlos Dansby could put up massive numbers in this game in all area. The Jets will pound it on the ground and Dansby will mop up much of that as well as rushing the passer and dropping back into coverage. If Dansby plays a monster game the Dolphins should be in good shape defensively.

KEY MATCH-UP: Brandon Marshall Vs. Antonio Cromartie This is an interesting battle from the standpoint of finding out exactly how much Ryan believe in Cromartie. Obviously the Dolphins plan to exploit the Jets through the air with The Beast and how they defend it just might determine the game. If Cromartie can handle Marshall one-on-one it allows the Jets to stay true themselves and show off that exotic blitz package of theirs. If Marshall proves to be too much to handle the Jets will be forced to drop backers into coverage to help Cromartie and protect from the big play. This game just may come down to one big play so will Rex gamble? I say he does, that’s Rex. I also say he gets burned because Marshall is too physical and just too damn good to stop one-on-one. This is the game Marshall scores his first Dolphins touchdown and show the league exactly why they gave up two 2nd rounders to get him. Because he changes games.

FEARLESS PREDICTION:

As much as both teams hate to admit it, these teams are mirror images of each other. Run the football, smothering defenses and extremely physical on both sides of the ball. These teams are so evenly matched that I truly believe that Brandon Marshall will prove to be a lethal weapon. Another certainty is the team that turns the football over has no chance. This game will come down to one play and that play will be a huge turnover. Who gets it?

Dolphins 20-13

Dolphins Do Us All a Favre

By Ronn Burner • on September 21, 2010

The Miami Dolphins did the unthinkable by going into Minnesota and knocking off Brett Favre and the Vikings 14-10. If you read my game Preview than you would know that I’m not surprised in the slightest by this, not because I think the Dolphins are that good but because the situation was that one-sided to make me think things will go the other way i.e. Saints at 49ers MNF this week or Chargers at Chiefs last week. Call it the “Vegas Theory” or whatever you want to call it but in the National Football League when one talented team has no chance to win, I really like their chances. No need to re-hash situations so lets get to what really counts and that’s the play on the field.

Defense was the story here and you you can’t talk about the play on the field and not talk about, wait for it… Jason Allen. No, that is not a Jared Allen type-o. Jason Allen played like the 1st Rd. and 16th overall selection we used on him in 2006 amassing 11 tackles, 3 pass break ups and 2 interceptions not to mention another one that was wiped out by by penalty that had nothing to do with the play. Allen has been the biggest surprise by miles on the Dolphins team beginning with his bludgeoning Sean Smith right out of the starting lineup, which is even more impressive when you consider that Smith was seemingly etched in stone as the starting corner opposite Vontae Davis. I am thoroughly convinced that the newly covered in ink Allen owes all of his success to the tattoos. Tats bring swagger, baby! Of course, I only say this because I too am sleeved. Deion Sanders said it best and who could argue?

“You look good, you feel good. You feel good, you play good. You play good, they pay good.”

Speaking of lock down game changing corners, Davis (6 tackles, 2 pass break ups and an interception) moved one step closer to reaching that top 5 at his position potential. Favre himself acknowledged Davis’ abilities by saying

“Number 21, I felt like, was one of the best corners in this league, especially that no one knows about, Number 32 (Allen) is more physical and kind of a safety-type guy. I thought a back-shoulder throw against him with Bernard would be a right play. But just in general, 21 I was less apt to challenge.”

The Dolphins played very well on defense in sort of a bend but don’t break mentality orchestrated by DC Mike Nolan and his band of merry men. The Vikings were inside the Dolphins 27 yard line 5 times without reaching the end zone and on four of those trips they were inside the 15 and the Dolphins still didn’t allow them to score a single point. Spectacular performance defensively and since we’re in the quoting mood how about this gem from the Quentin Tarantino.

“Let’s not start sucking each others #$@&% just yet, fellas.”

The Dolphins won and improved their record to 2-0 with both wins coming on the road despite being dominated statistically in Time of Possession 35:48 to 24:12, Total Yards 364 to 226, First Downs 22 to 12 and Total Plays 72 to 46. Those numbers generally translate into a loss but Miami managed to flip the tables by winning the “Mistake Battle”, which include a +2 Turnover advantage, two huge 4th and 1 and 2 stops and Miami had only 2 penalties for 15 yards compared to the 7 for 44 the Vikings had. One of the turnovers directly resulted in a touchdown when Cameron Wake (5 tackles, 1.5 sacks and this forced fumble) got the edge stripping Favre in the end zone that Koa Misi (2 QB Hurries and this fumble recovery) pounced on for the score.

Other defensive studs for the Dolphins were FS Yeremiah Bell led the team with 12 tackles, Karlos Dansby with 9 of his own and LB Quentin Moses who also contributed 5 tackles and 1 QB hit. Clearly the individual efforts were there but the defensive chemistry was even more impressive. Rallying at the goal line to stop Minnesota on 4th and Goal from the 1 with 2:21 remaining in the game following a Ricky Williams fumble was the second time in the game (Ronnie Brown also fumbles deep in our own territory) that the offense coughed up the football immediately following an Allen interception yet the defense allowed only a field goal, which speaks volumes about this unit.

Offensively there are issues but contrary to some fan believe play-calling is not one of them. I’m a firm believer in “it’s not the play-calling, it’s the execution” mantra. The Wildcat still serves a great purpose for us despite it’s lack of a huge play thus far. It’s essentially still a simple I-formation anyway so why all the fuss? The biggest thing is it causes team to waste their valuable time fearing it. If nothing else, that’s a lot!

How is this for scary? The offense is tied for 21st in scoring and 27th in total yards. Seventh in rushing and 28th in passing. Chad Henne has set a franchise record in futility with his 5 attempts in the 1st half surpassing, I mean failing to surpass the 7 Jay Fiedler threw in Cleveland on Nov. 20, 2005. Henne has only thrown 49 passes this season and Miami is ranked 31st in that category. How the hell are we 2-0?

The lone star offensively has to be LT Jake Long and his phenomenal performance against arguably the best defensive lineman in the league, Jared Allen. Allen leads the NFL in sacks with 72 over the past 6 years but was almost non-existent against Long. Statistically speaking Allen still managed to get a sack that really was the result of Kevin Williams blasting through John Jerry causing Henne to scramble out of the pocket and into Allen’s clutches.

The game eerily had the 2009 Dolphins vibe to it when we lost heart breakers to the Chargers, Colts and Saints after holding late leads only to collapse offensively putting the defense back onto the field until they finally collapsed. This time the Dolphins prevailed and sent a message across the league and the AFC East that they can beat any one, any time and any place.

Next up, our arch nemesis New York Jets come to town for our home opener. No motivation needed here. And to think, the Dolphins could beat in consecutive weeks both teams that played in the Conference Championship Game last season.

A 3-0 start, 2-0 in the division with consecutive wins over two teams seconds from the Super Bowl and I may have to disregard Tarantino’s classic line.

Dolphins-Vikings Preview

By Ronn Burner • on September 16, 2010

Your (1-0) Miami Dolphins hit the road for the second consecutive week to open the 2010 NFL season looking to upset the Brett Favre led (0-1) Minnesota Vikings. As far as circumstances are concerned this one is pretty heavily weighted in the Vikings favor.

Granted, Miami is coming off a road victory within the division but still, it was the anemic Buffalo Bills and we still eeked out a win. At least that’s what the 15-10 score would lead you to believe. Just like the 14-9 Saints-Vikings score would indicate that Minnesota nearly defeated the Super Bowl Champs in their house. Well, I got news for you. Score “indications” are about as reliable as Teddy Ginn on a 3rd and 10. Oh stop it, I’m going to bash him until I scrape every last particle of #9 overall bust out of him like a crack head scrapes out resin.

The point I was trying to make until Ginn screwed that up too was those scores are about as much of a reflection on those games as Rex Ryan is on P90X. The true story is it took the Dolphins four, yes, four incredibly boneheaded plays to keep that Buffalo score from being a 34-3 final There are no “ifs” in sports and obviously you can dissect the crap out of every game but still the point being that Miami dominated the trenches and though they weren’t lighting up the scoreboard offensively they controlled the ball and, therefore, the game. Minnesota was also a couple plays away from being dump trucked 27-9. Again, New Orleans dominated the entire game despite the close score.

The deck is absolutely stacked against Miami when you consider that in addition to “barely” beating the lowly Bill and the Vikings “barely” losing to the Super Bowl Champions on their home field the Dolphins have to travel another 1,500 miles, on top of the 3,000 round trip to Buffalo, to face an angry Vikings team desperately in need of a win, in their home opener on turf with 10 days rest. Mel Gibson has a better chance of winning Husband of the Year than Miami does of winning this game.

What a disaster, right? Wrong. It’s the perfect situation you want to be in. Okay, maybe not the circumstances but as far as the public opinion is concerned it’s ideal. A team that nobody gives a shot to win is a dangerous team. I also refer to Las Vegas because I do study gambling and since I’m still doing this charity work writing these articles it should be crystal clear — scratch that I know who my readers are — that I’m not raking it in. But the one game on the board right now that is getting pounced on like Paris Hilton on… well, any night… is Minnesota -5.5. It’s a colossal landslide in favor of Minnesota. It’s damn year the Stone Cold Lead Pipe Lock of the Century that the Vikings beat the Dolphins on Sunday. I may not win a lot of money gambling and I’m not saying the Dolphins pull off the upset but I can tell you that anytime a game sets up like this one does the underdog always and I mean always makes the favorite sweat like their blind date was just interrupted by Chris Hansen walking into their kitchen.

WHEN MIAMI HAS THE BALL: These are not the Purple People Eaters but they are going to be a purple wall lead by All-Pro Jared Allen. Luckily we got a pretty good one of our own in Jake Long that will have the unenviable task of lining up across from good ole #69. Running lanes will be at a premium for Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams so they have to take advantage of the creases when they are there. Kevin Williams is a run stopping plug in the middle alongside Allen though Miami will have to be balanced and committed to the run I suspect that Chad Henne will be unleashed.

Dan Henning stated he wanted to go deep twice last week but Henne was sacked, which isn’t a ringing endorsement to attempt that again this week but I do think the Dolphins attack the Vikings suspect secondary through the air with 3 step drops. Antoine Winfield is their only established player in their secondary but expect him to be avoided so Brandon Marshall can feast on rookie corner Chris Cook and the pedestrian Cedric Griffin. Marshall could have a monster game here demanding double coverage opening the seam for the revived Anthony Fasano and the underneath stuff for the reliable Davone Bess. Brian Hartline should also get plenty of chances to redeem himself for his lackluster play thus far in camp and last week.

WHEN MINNESOTA HAS THE BALL: Obviously stopping Adrian Petersen is of paramount importance and to do that it will take solid gang tackling from all eleven guys. Without that, nothing else will matter aside from him fumbling 5 times and/or the Dolphins offense putting 45 on the board. Neither of those are going to happen. Number two on the defensive agenda will be to get to #4 as often as possible. Stop the run and rush the passer, it’s not rocket science I know but it is the key to success. Cameron Wake and Koa Misi putting pressure on Favre from the outside and Randy Starks and Kendall Langford inside not only disrupts their offense tremendously but with his gunslinger mentality it greatly increases the chance of a defensive score or at least a turnover that puts the offense in a favorable position. I also expect Mike Nolan to put Karlos Dansby into situations allowing him to make plays all over the field.

Chris Clemons, Vontae Davis and Jared Allen all played great football last week but will have to be better this week. There is no place in the Metrodome that Favre can’t put a football and if he manages to buy himself time it will put a ton of pressure on the secondary to stay with their guys longer. Percy Harvin will be a game time decision leaving Bernard Berrian and our old friend Greg Camarillo as his primary receivers. Not exactly lethal but certainly capable of hurting Miami.

KEY MATCH-UP: Jake Long Vs. Jared Allen – Rarely do you get a match-up of this magnitude. Long has reached the Pro Bowl in both his seasons in the league and Jared Allen is widely considered the best defensive lineman in the game. They have actually banged heads previously but it was in Hawaii so it will be interesting to see what, if any, tricks they have up their sleeves for one another. I can’t even venture a guess as to who will win this match-up, I suspect Allen will find a way to make plays like superstars in this league do but I do think Long will step up and against the best defender he’s ever faced and show why he is easily a top three left tackle in football.

FEARLESS PREDICTION:

MIAMI 20-16

Miami Dolphins Defeated in Victory over Buffalo Bills?

By Ronn Burner • on September 14, 2010

1:00 PM ET, September 12, 2010 Ralph Wilson Stadium, Buffalo, NY

Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins escaped Buffalo with a “W” but didn’t look very good in doing so and at times looked downright awful. I think ESPN uber-dork John Clayton pretty much summed up this entire game recap with his powerful and succinct NFL Power Rankings comment:

“To barely win in Buffalo isn’t a great start for the Dolphins.”

I concur. No matter how you spin this nothing can possibly ring more true than that statement. So what though? Our mission was simple. To get on that plane back to Miami sitting at 1-0 overall and 1-0 in the mighty AFC East, right? Mission accomplished. No matter how dominating Miami played in Buffalo Sunday the best possible result would still have been 1-0.

Not even Dan Marino could do better than 1-0 after Week 1. Put THAT quote in your pipe and smoke it, John Clayton!

The offense appeared stagnant most of the afternoon and although the Dolphins defense played great football during that same span they still collapsed when it mattered most blowing a coverage and allowing Trent Edwards, who only had 21 yards passing in the entire first half, to look like Joe Montana finding Roscoe Parrish running down the field like he was the only one playing on 4th and 11 for a 31-yard touchdown bringing Buffalo within a field goal, 13-10.

Miami came out of the gates with a 5:08 9 play drive for 37 yards capped off with a Dan Carpenter 32-yard field goal. From there Henne and the Dolphins offense struggled to find their bearings amassing only 164 passing yards and 132 rushing yards for 296 total. Not a horrible number but when you consider the Dolphins had the ball for nearly 37 minutes due to the defense forcing the Bills off the field on 11 of 14 3rd downs you would expect the offense to put together more than three scoring drives and only one touchdown.

The Good:

Ronnie Brown looked fresh, healthy and darn good on his 13 carries for 65 yards and a touchdown despite the lack of production out of the Wildcat. I’ll take 5.0 yards per carry any day of the week, especially Sunday and sometimes Monday. Point is, he’s healthy which is truly the key ingredient to the success of the Dolphins offensively regardless of all the Brandon Marshall hype. Okay, it’s close and they both open different things for other players but Ronnie runs the Wildcat, relieves Ricky Williams of shouldering the entire load, punishes opposing defenses and is a threat on every play running, blocking or receiving.

Jason Allen fared very well starting at corner in place of Sean Smith, last years starter benched in the preseason by Head Coach Tony Sparano. Allen had 6 tackles and 1 pass defensed that had he not flat out dropped it he could have skipped into the end zone saying na na na na na you can’t catch me. Baby steps I guess. At least he didn’t get toasted or commit a crucial pass interference penalty.

Three penalties for fifteen yards total. Very impressive for a Week 1 game.

Koa Misi (4 tackles, 1 sack, 2 QB hits), Cameron Wake (3 tackles, 1 sack, 2 QB hits, 2 pass defense) and Karlos Dansby (8 tackles, 1 sack, and 3 QB hits) all put relentless pressure on Edwards and answered the call thus far as to how effective could they be.

The Bad:

Despite the dominance of the defense the game was still very much in question with only a couple minutes remaining in the 4th after a mis-communication between apparently the entire secondary.

Henne to Marshall as made more news because of what they’re not doing rather than the next great quarterback, receiver tandem they are expected to be. Henne badly under threw a wide open Marshall racing down the field and after he adjusted and still should have made and potentially scored on the play Marshall gave his best Ted Ginn impersonation. Result: 2nd and 10.

Benny Sapp and Jason Allen each treated a gift wrapped Pick-6 like it would have given them chlamydia had they taken it. The result a 15-10 nail biter rather than the 27-10 snoozer it should have been, and that’s not even including the defensive blunder given Buffalo their only touchdown and the Moe and Curly put on by Henne and Marshall on that certain touchdown that would have made it 34-3. There are no “ifs” in sports. Just saying. 34 to friggin’ 3 wasn’t only possible but should have been the case. It took 4 Dolphins bone head plays to keep that from happening.

The Ugly:

The rest. It’s been said many times that the NFL is not a Beauty Contest and it’s a darn good thing because we are butt ugly. And you can bet you’re trophy wife there are 16 other teams around the league right now that wished they were as ugly as we are.

Including Minnesota, where we will head to face a grumpy Vikings team licking their chops at the thought of treating us as their “Slump Buster”.